Wednesday, October 22, 2008

THE ALPHA GRANDCHILD


yes.......that is right.....you read it correctly.......this is a story about the ALPHA grand child........AKA......
ADDIE LEE HIXSON

you have heard me say many times of how funny she is, how crazy she is, how totally OFF the hook she is.....how totally she is 4 going on 16........ she continues to keep me in utter stitches and last week when i watched the girls was NO exception!!!
we had had an interesting, but fun night.....Addie was in a "funk" the first part of the night because she wanted to go to "THE CUL-DE-SAC"......she spoke of it as if it were the neighborhood carnival or something........when in reality it was a few children riding tricycles around the street, while standing mother's observed from the sidelines.......but to ADDIE......it was a MUST GO.......however, her mother told her she couldn't! so that led her into an absolute pity party for herself, while she declared beyond all reasonable doubt that everyone HATED her and she had NO friends!!!.........PEOPLE!!! the child is FOUR years old!!!........
Hope had NO interest whatsoever in the infamous cul-de-sac and was content to play PLAY-DOH with me! BUT for ADDIE.....play-doh did not do it for her.........so finally after i got her to eat FIVE bites of pizza......i reluctantly let her take her trike to the....C.D.S............while Hope and i continued smearing brightly colored play-doh over the entire front porch.....(sorry bout that,son).........watching her from the porch. Interestingly enough......in about 20 minutes all parents ended the C.D.S. experience and headed for indoors.........so of course Addie came wheeling back to the house on her little tricycle......happy as a petunia in a potato patch........VOILA........her C.D.S. experience was sealed and now she was ready to be a happy girl........(wow......talk about drama)
shortly thereafter we started making moves toward bed time.......now let me tell you.....i never know what to expect about that neccessary evil.....BEDTIME!...oooohhhh.......usually it is a fight all the way...and sometimes , being the "ol softie" that those kids turn me into....they often never make it to bed at all under my watch!...but this night.......ALL was going smoothly.....and we were happily, progressively getting all our night time, before bed, duties done........jammies on, teeth brushed.....Addie did take a little detour when she decided to turn OCD and clean the entire sink with her baby washcloth and a little water.....oh yes, then there were the few moments that Hope just "accidentally" spilled the blue toothpaste over the entire front of the WHITE cupboard and the beautiful WHITE rugs on the floor.......oops.......i didn't see that one coming, i was enthralled with Addie's total cleaning abilities........but beyond that.....YUP....all went smoothly.
OK....i am finally to the point to tell you what i originally intended to tell you.......so, you must know that when i am in charge of the grands.....i ALWAYS have a story time......this is a story telling game i made up a couple years ago.........i start a story...like...."once upon a time there was.......then i point to one of the kids and they fill in the blank...i take their fill ins and proceed on with the story....got the picture???
so.......the girls had taken turns filling in the blanks and we had come up with a story about a little boy named Cocoa with a little dog (i forgot the dog's name, sorry Hope).........he had gone on a walk and climbed up a mountain and all of a sudden it was dark and raining.......
NOW!!! at this point i thought to myself.....okay.......let's turn this into a little spiritual application.....so i turned to Hope and said..." Cocoa was scared so he got down on his knees and he".....i point to Hope and she said PRAYED.....(which was exactly what i was going for, obviously)........i then turn to Addie and say..."and Cocoa asked God......."........
let me interupt for a moment here......mind you.......we were all three on Hope's bed....rather cozily , not quite snuggled but almost, together, in other words.....sitting very close..........and as i pointed to Addie.......she swept into LIVE motion....swung both arms in a sweeping, (hugely sweeping) motion, narrowly missing my FACE........and she says
"and God said LET THERE BE LIGHT!!!! and there WAS light"!!!!!!
folks.........at this point......i was laughing hysterically INSIDE......but i just stared at her....WHERE do you come from girlfriend????? Are you from the MOON????.........this stuff can't be made up!!!!........
now this is where i made my mistake.......not particularly "liking" her "twist" in the story, thinking it not too likely God was going to shout- let there be light to Cocoa up on the dark, rainy mountain that nite.....i looked at her and said...."well, that is probably not what happened, sweetie....but wouldn't Cocoa ask God to help him get home?"......
to which she replied quite emphatically......
NO SIR, HUH -UH!!!!.....MY TEACHER TOLD ME THAT GOD SAID LET THERE BE LIGHT AND ME AND AVA CRACKED OPEN OUR GLOW STICKS AND THERE WAS LIGHT!!!!......
and folks, that was the end of the story.....enuf said.....all the while i was now almost completely rolled off the bed, laughing til there was no more laughter left.......and Hope and Addie were completely satisfied with the story(not laughing, or thinking a single thing was funny)........they probably had night visions of God and glow sticks, i don't know........all i know is....she CRACKS me up, that is for sure!!!
!!!

7 comments:

Heidi Zawisza said...

Seriously, when you told me this story, I thought it was funny, but reading it is HYSTERICAL!! She's one of the funniest little girls I have ever met!!! O.M.G.!!!!

Heidi Zawisza said...

Seriously, when you told me this story, I thought it was funny, but reading it is HYSTERICAL!! She's one of the funniest little girls I have ever met!!! O.M.G.!!!!

Heidi Zawisza said...

I don't know why this just published twice.....but here's a third for ya!

Pete Hixson said...

mom - that is a great story (all except the play-doh on the front porch!! haha) - she is a mess - always!

I love you!

Anonymous said...

I need to hear the story about the comment she made at school!!

Anonymous said...

You really just needto write books about your grandchildren. With your ability tpo write and do the illustrations.........I should be able to retire!! How about it babe??!

Hollie said...

She is a MESS! Tonight is was so cold and dark and she did not understand why we could not go stand in the C.S......I guess we could have taken the glow sticks:)