Thursday, February 5, 2009

Utter Randomness Today


okay, i am going to ramble in utter random fashion for the next few minutes...i have been feeling quite guilty about ignoring the upkeep of my blog.......and i still love it the best! honest i do! Facebook, quite frankly drives me absolutely CRAZY......and i almost HATE it......but then i LOVE it too! it has put me in touch with such wonderful and dear people from my "past"...i can't quite understand why people are so willing to write everything and ANYTHING on FB......and they won't even leave 2 words of even hello how are you on my blog!!!......nevertheless...i have hooked up with some great people....even tho...needless to say.....FB is quite "shallow" to say the least.....and blogging can be that too......however, blogging just "fits" me better!...so why do i find myself feeling guilty about NOT blogging.......because that stinkin FB is EASIER and FASTER!!!...........UNLESS........one becomes entangled in a messy web of stalking everyone else's lives........ahem.......i know you do...quite frankly......and quite thankfully......i get bored easily with all the conversation back and forth...UNLESS it is directly related to ME!....wow! that sounded narcicisstic didn't it???


but i must admit...FB DOES indeed steal time away from blogging......dad bern it!


well.......i have just started something wonderful and exciting...i just started going to the ESTHER Bible study by Beth Moore!!!....i facillitated several studies at my church in Ia......and loved it beyond words.....but since coming here....well...REAL life happened.....UNEXPECTED life happened......UNFORSEEN changes happened......and i have not done a Beth Moore study since that time.......we attend our son's church, which is almost an hour away.....the trouble with that is that it makes it difficult to really fellowship or attend things like Bible studies in that location.....so i have been praying to find a local Bible study........and yes, tho i am sure there were many available.....nothing really convinced me to join.....plus......i really did not want to walk into a strange place ALL by myself....can i get a witness?????.....i am weird like that....call it insecurity...whatever.....UNTIL.....God faced me HEAD ON with the opportunity..my neighbor lady , who is single and a precious christian lady ...has a friend who was attending an Esther study....and long story short.....i was invited in......and tho i still did not want to enter a room of strangers.....i decided i didn't want God to hit me on the head any harder with the answer to my long ago prayer...and i accepted!!!


well.........i am so glad i did! i started 2 weeks late....so i have been doing about 4 hrs of homework each day to try to catch up.......but i absolutely LOVE it......wow! what a study!!!.....it is fabulous...and oh my goodness it addresses so many issues we, as woman face and reveals God's heart and wisdom in so many areas!


i still have to at some point see the video's for the first 2 weeks.....it would not be absolutely neccessary....but the study is THAT exciting and i don't want to miss a thing!!!!


why does God have to almost hit us with a 2x4 to get us to listen sometimes??.....we have to push beyond our insecurities and pride and OBEY, i know that for sure!


whew...well, that was LONG......see, once i get going i can't stop!!!


on another note.....some further "musings"..


...i have found that at the cost of many losses...i have gained much......


....because i am an HGTV JUNKIE.....i have been tempted to adopt the theory that seems to be quite widespread that one is a NOBODY if one does not have GRANITE countertops in their home......well......then i am content to be a NOBODY cuz "that ain't gonna happen no time soon".....pardon the ever so horrific bad english...sometimes bad english is just appropriate..


...i just wish that at the beginning of my adult life i would have known what has taken me my whole life to find out...that things i thought were so important...really are NOT


...it doesn't matter WHAT you look like on the outside...how gorgeous you are, how thin you are, how much money you have......everyone needs a friend to talk to.....everyone needs a shoulder to cry on......everyone needs an encouraging word......why do we (meaning me, too)....always think those who seem to have "arrived" have it all together? i think i am finding out that they have not much together.....


i have found a new meaning to lonliness....now don't get me wrong.....this isn't neccessarily a BAD or a SAD thing......just a NEW thing.....my husband now has to work out of town EVERY week....this is very new and very foreign to us....i entered this new "chapter" with GREAT fear and DREAD and SADNESS......however, because it is neccessary.....and because i have asked for God's help and strength and protection....i am doing fine...really i am....fine...just fine......don't worry about me...thru the long lonely days and long lonely nights...it's ok if NO ONE ever checks on me....HONEST....i am JUST KIDDING....just had a relapse of silliness come over me...


anyway.......i would be LYING to you if i said i am never LONELY!!! oh my goodnesssssss!!! i get SOOO lonely!......it is me and my dog here..day in and day out......of course i work very part time.....and of course i have interaction with kids and grands.......BUT there is still a lot of alone-ness.....i have tried HARD to not let it get me down....and of course God helps me thru those down feelings.....but it has made me aware of what it is like for so many people who live alone...probably MANY of YOU who are reading this.....i have a NEW heart and attitude to those who have lost their spouses to death, or even divorce......in which case....that is so much worse than what i am going thru......but my heart aches and bleeds for the many people in our world who are lonely and sad.....and those who are bluntly left alone to fend for themselves and figure out how to earn a living...especially women! i have 2 VERY strong and Godly women in mind right now! tho i won't name them...i definitely admire them and think of them a lot!!!


lest you think i only think of myself...my husband has been uprooted from a home life... to seeing me, and the rest of the family to a mere "few" hours a week!......he has to sleep in unfamiliar places with unfamiliar foods and live with the guys he works with!...thankfully God has given him GOOD, DECENT, MORAL guys to share space with! but still!!! WHO in the world would want to do such a thing????......so thank you sweet hubby of mine...i know you would work your fingers to the BONE, just to provide for us...i am so thankful you have a work ethic like i have never seen before!!!! you are a blessing!


ok....i need to lighten up.......well, actually i need to quit......i will end by inserting this absolutely hilarious little poem, sent to me by a friend in Ia. who is an absolute JOY to be around......i dare not name her...for all of my Ia. friends are a joy... heh heh! ...

and, hey people...ain't it the truth???



I asked the Lord to tell me

Why my house is such a mess.

He asked if I'd been 'computering',

I had to answer 'yes.'

He told me to get off my butt

And tidy up the house.

And so I started cleaning up...

The smudges off my mouse.

I wiped and shined the topside.

That really did the trick...

I was just admiring my work..

I didn't mean to 'click.'

But click I did, and oops. I found

A real absorbing site.

That I got SO way into it.

I was into it all night...Sigh

Nothing's changed except my mouse

It's very, very shiny.

I guess my house will stay a mess...

While I sit here on my hiney.
(okay...seriously....can i get a WIT NESS???....that is SOOOO me!!!!!...BUSTED!!! )

6 comments:

Mel said...

Love the poem. I bet you that many people can attest to that.

Patricia said...

LOVE this blog post! You are so deep! :) I actually think blogging about personal stuff is a lot more risky than facebook. At least on facebook only your friends can see what you write, and even then you can narrow it down to a smaller group of friends via security. And about the loneliness bit, it is tough. Jamil can give you some pointers from when I travelled all the time. Keep blogging AND Facebooking!

Sandi Hixson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
gretchen said...

I think I am in the same Esther study as you...well different location, of course, same book. I am just getting started, but you must see the videos....so good.

Hope you have a great night!

Diane said...

Sandi, Hi! Thanks for stopping by my blog. I've missed hearing from you.
Aha! Face Book! LOL!

You know...I hear you about HGTV and the people who can't figure out the difference between "needs" and "wants". It's the "wants" that have gotten us to the point we are with our economy. I won't get on my soapbox but I too have LAMINATE (oh, horror of horrors) countertops and I like them! And carpeting, not hardwood floors, and only ONE bathroom and only about 1500 sq. feet in my house, NOT 5,000! I have NO "media room", no steam shower, no master suite, blah blah....and my friends still like me and I can sleep at night because I didn't use credit to buy more than I need. God is good. I am happy. More people would be happy if they realized that things and the desperate desire to acquire things are just burdens. Someone has to dust them, pay for them, etc...and what happens when one has a job loss...

Loved your post! Bless you! I've been through hard times. You're going through one and it's really obvious that you are a gal who knows how to count blessings.

Blessings more are wished you!
Diane

Sandi Hixson said...

thank you Diane! i am SO on the same page as YOU!!! and BLESS YOU TOO!!!!